I never quite arrived at a clear message when writing Heartsick. The result came after countless revisions, and often felt there were conflicting themes being corralled into the span of a few minutes. I was in a different writing mood every time I revisited the song, and the process culminated in a patchwork of phrasings with inconsistent tone for my protagonist. I ended up putting the song down for more than a year.
But there is something to be said about revisiting things way down the road that is refreshingly unfamiliar. Reading through the lyric sheet with new perspective, the conflict was more attractive. Angry, compassionate, and full of optimism, she also edged toward giving up. I immediately knew the song was about forgiveness.
Forgiveness probably isn’t something most come to overnight. It often isn’t even fully realized when we are ready to make amends with those in our lives who have wronged us. It takes time because different feelings are valid simultaneously, and even with apologies made and accepted, we may not have arrived at whatever cure we were seeking. At some point, though, we have to put things in the past.